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  • Writer's pictureBlue Marriage

Going Solo for Healing from Divorce


It’s a special anniversary. It’s been 500 years since the Protestant Reformation, first marked by Martin Luther when he posted 95 theses on the Castle Church in Wittenburg, Germany.

The arguments were generally characterized by criticism of the excesses of the Roman Catholic Church.

Faithful Marriage Blended family

The work proceeding from the Reformers elicited five famous Latin phrases and convictions:

Sola fide:faith alone

Sola scriptura: scripture alone

Sola gratia: grace alone

Solo Christo: Christ alone

Soli Deo Gloria: to the glory of God alone

Although they began as a rebuttal to the doctrines of the Roman Catholic Church, the Solas were, and continue to be, a very positive declaration of biblical truth, and truth for right living.

It’s only through faith that we can apprehend truth and accept the grace of God.

Scripture should be our source of authority. It’s the eternal God of the universe speaking.

It’s through grace that we’re saved, not through our works. It was an undeserved gift of God.

Jesus alone provided a way to access a Holy God through His sacrifice on the cross.

Our chief goal in life should be to bring glory to our Creator, Life-giver and sustainer.

An Application for Healing from Divorce

While the Solas pertain to salvation, they brought an application to mind. It was only through Christ that my mom received spiritual and emotional healing from being the main “victim” of divorce.

It was only through Christ where I received healing. It was only through Christ that even the main cause of the divorce, my dad, received healing.

Faithful Marriage Blended family

There are many worthy counsellors, therapists, psychologists, and coaches. They can analyze and determine much of why things go wrong and strategize to compensate for the future.

However, I would claim that with Christ alone, you gain the world. You have your healing amongst other abundance. One can truly move on from divorce as spouse or child. You have all that you need.

Christ Alone

Yes I would prefer to have good health and continue to split wood, play hockey and basketball, etc., but if I lose my health and still have Christ, I have everything.

Faithful Marriage Blended family

True, I desire to keep my job and continue to live a comfortable, middle class sort of life…but if the economy crashes, I lose my job, and the bank takes the house, yet I have Christ, I will press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Phiippians 3:14).

Likewise, my mom didn’t want her marriage to collapse…and it hurt her a lot. I also didn’t want our family to split, and it brought much turmoil.

But Mom’s faith (Sola fide) became even stronger as she struggled to move on without a life partner – but she actually did have a partner in Christ (Solo Christo).

Faithful Marriage Blended family

She immersed herself in the Word of God and in a good church with others who were “salt of the earth.”

Her testimony of accepting God’s grace despite the shame and pain definitely brought glory to Him.

It took me a little longer to wholeheartedly accept the Lord in my life. Yet even while I delayed and fought it, I was aware that it was the right step to take. My mom’s prayers helped make God’s grace even more irresistible to me.

Faithful Marriage Blended family

This in turn has helped me, I hope, become a better husband and father. I wouldn’t have wanted to betray my family as my dad had done.

Supernatural Strength

With the Lord’s strength and additional accountability to Christ, there is supernatural assistance to this or any man’s limited strength.

Even if the possibility of betrayal isn’t an issue, none of us are naturally selfless or predisposed to self-sacrifice. If we use Christ as our model, then we can’t help but bend our will in the direction of unselfishness within our families.

Divorce within Christian circles really should demonstrate the following in its wake: what Satan intends for evil, God uses for good. But I would submit that it takes walking with Christ to obtain that good.

In truth, one isn’t walking alone. Christ comes to you through other faithful ones in the church, and through the living Word of God.

He can help take the focus off yourself and your plight as you set your eyes upon Him alone.

Faithful Marriage Blended family

If you’ve been beset by the anguish of divorce as a spouse or child, give the burden all to Him, the author and finisher of our faith. Certainly trust in a counsellor or pastor with a solid background and pure reputation.

However, if he/she omits or diminishes Christ and Scripture in any way, know that you should seek help elsewhere to avoid spinning your wheels in secular mire. Move from sorrow to healing.

Matthew 5: 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 11: 28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”


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